How Sick Day Policies Turn Your Business Into a Daycare

Sick day policies have been in the news lately.  This isn’t a political commentary, I promise.  I am a fellow entrepreneur, and there are times when we can write our own rules as long as we don’t break the law or discriminate. This is why I think that sick day policies, for the most part, suck for small businesses.  I tend to gravitate toward “trust and reward” than “police and punish.”

Most business owners write sick day policies like David Hilbert wrote algorithms.  “If you work for three consecutive orbits around the sun, then you are entitled to one Earth day of sickness, provided you bring us a vial of infected blood and a note from your physician of record.”  What the hell?  Why not give the new employee a slide rule and a set of litmus strips and wish them good luck?

Sick day policies immediately make everyone think they have to call you with hourly updates.  I have a 10-year old daughter, and I can remember her daycare calling me hourly to update me when she showed the smallest sign of not feeling well.  “Mr. Godwin, she’s not as active as she usually is, but she ate her strained green beans so we think she’s OK.”  I had a client tell me the other day that one of his employees called him to let him know how her…um, intestinal regularity…had turned into chronic stomach upset…no lie.  And she was much more graphic than I’m being here.  You could be reading this over lunch, right?

You become the hall monitor.  Jeez, running a business is hard enough without you having to read a doctor’s note and a summary of hourly fever changes.  You’re making things happen….generating profits….talking about matters of state….being the MAN.  You have no time to do a drive-by and make sure that your employee is really in bed and not waiting in line for “Mockingjay” tickets.  Give me a freaking break.

If you can’t trust your team, then you don’t need them in your office.  If you can trust them, for the love of all that is holy, please don’t treat them like children.  If you expect them to deliver like grown-ups, treat them like grown-ups and they will.  Life is too short and entrepreneurship is too challenging to require you to act like someone’s second grade teacher.  I get it, Mr. President….paid sick leave makes for a great headline.  But for small business owners, let’s call it “salary.” Get out there and tear up your sick day policy, and then watch people act like adults.  It’ll change your life.